Something that I’ve found out along this journey with me, my head and I is that questions are really important.
It was that question that has become an advocate for helping others with mental health concerns that first triggered my understanding of the need for questions; R U OK?
I’ve always been interested in mental health and I saw this group pushing people to understand and use the question R U Ok? to start talking to others about what’s going on, what’s wrong, what’s troubling you, what’re your concerns? I thought it was a great idea and I bookmarked it in my head to use someday if I saw someone having a hard time.
I wasn’t sure that it would be effective but I planned to give it a go anyway; nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?
But then, before I had a chance to use it to help another person, someone asked me, and I burst into tears!! Just like that! That is how powerful the question is and how right on target it is to really hit the spot when someone is down, anxious, fearful, despairing etc.
I didn’t think it would work. But I walked into a doctor’s room to get some routine results, she asked ‘are you okay?’ and it turns out I wasn’t, to a severe degree which I had not even realised up until that moment.
When she said, ‘how are you?’, as I walked in the door I said fine. That question is just too automatic and we are too programmed into a standard response that doesn’t really give an answer. We know when we ask it that it’s more for form than for really enquiring into someone’s health. It has become a greeting more than a query. Not to say that it can’t be used as a question; some people can inject that something extra that shows that they genuinely are enquiring about your health, but usually that’s not the case.
But there is something unique, direct and unusual about the question ‘are you okay?’ that hits a nerve, that registers with a person as an actual question and that demonstrates some extra kind of care and interest on behalf of the asker.
Questions are so important in mental health.
We can’t lay open a wound, or show an obvious dislocation, or contusion, or register a positive blood culture, or low blood level as evidence of our condition.
We may not look ill, or sick, or injured to other people.
All the evidence of our ailment is locked inside our heads.
It is literally all in our minds, but not in the way that that saying is usually used, to suggest that it’s a figment of our imagination!
There is nothing imagined or exaggerated or fictitious about any mental illness.
However there is a level of difficulty for anyone treating a mental illness, be it doctors, nurses, psychiatrists, psycholgists, counsellors or any other health professionals.
To diagnose a mental illness, as with any other condition, a set of diagnostic criteria must be met. But none of those criteria are obvious when a patient walks in the door.
The diagnoser (doctor or psychiatrist) must be able to draw out the information that they need to make a diagnosis by asking questions. They need to ask a lot of questions. Questions designed to gather information, to confirm suspicions, to determine signs and symptoms of the condition.
They have to be very skilled in asking questions AND in listening to the answers for clues about what is going on with the patient.
It takes time! Sometimes a lot of time. Sometimes questions are asked over and over. There is a purpose to that; it is to gather the right information so that the right diagnosis is made and the right treatment given. It might seem repetitive but every question fills a useful part of the overall picture. It’s not a sign of incompetence on the part of the person asking the questions; its a part of their professional skill.
Patients most often don’t know what is going on with them. I’m a health professional with a clinical understanding of mental illness but I still didn’t recognise mental illness in myself. I just thought I was stressed at work. The fact that I was constantly obsessing over work all day and night, that I couldn’t sleep, that I was being clingy and petty and being a huge strain on my husband with my concerns and fears and anxiety didn’t occur to me to be an excessive reaction. So I can’t even imagine how patients with no prior knowledge of mental illness feel when they start to suffer from symptoms.
They might be scared, afraid, stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, confused, in denial or fearful of what the diagnosis will mean and what treatment will be prescribed. So the doctor also has to tread carefully around the person’s soft or sore spots but still trod and poke enough to get what they need to do their job.
In any emotional state a person has more difficulty remembering and recalling, trouble giving an accurate history, limited ability in listening and responding, and struggles with taking in information. This is one of the reasons why questions need to be repeated; to be sure that the right answer has been given. It’s also why seeing multiple doctors on different occasions can be useful in building a clearer picture of what is going on.
Often a patient may not be diagnosed immediately, because of these factors. It may be considered in the patient’s best interests to allow them time to go away and calm down, to give more thought to the history of symptoms that they have experienced, and then to bring them back and ask further questions. Of course it isn’t safe for all patients to be sent away; some need to be kept for their own safety, some need to have treatment started immediately. For those who are sent home to return late, maybe the same questions will be asked all over again, and although it seems tedious to the patient, it is all for the purpose of gathering as much information as possible so that the best outcome can be achieved for every patient.
Tell me what’s been going on?
How have you been feeling?
When did this start?
Who have you already seen about this?
What treatments have you tried?
Has anyone in your family experienced any mental illness?
How long have these symptoms been going on for?
How severe are your symptoms?
What symptom is the most difficult for you?
What has brought you here today?
How are you today?
Compared to then, how are you now?
What do you think has triggered these symptoms?
What has happened that might have caused this?
What do you know about your condition?
What do you know about the treatment for this condition?
What’s the worst symptom that you are experiencing?
How are you coping?
Are you experiencing any side effects?
Give me a run down on how the last week has been for you?
How often do you shower?
How often have you been getting out of the house?
Are you finding enjoyment in life?
How has your motivation been?
What have you been getting up to?
Have you been hearing or seeing things that don’t exist?
Has anyone been speaking to you through other objects?
Are you suicidal?
Have you had thoughts of harming yourself or others?
Do you have a plan to harm yourself?
Have you had suicidal thoughts?
Have you had thoughts that are frightening to you?
How has your sleep been?
Tell me what you are afraid of?
Do you ever have periods of great energy when you can achieve a lot? Or when you don’t need sleep?
When are you not anxious? Are there any places where you feel comfortable?
What things make you anxious? What things trigger a panic attack?
There sure are a lot of questions that can be asked!! And this is probably the tip of the iceberg really, these are just the questions that I can remember from the health professionals that I saw. I’m sure there are many others for other mental health disorders.
And yet, the most important question is whichever one you ask to the person that you see struggling. It really doesn’t matter what it is. It can be r u ok?, how ya doing?, what’s up with you?, how are things?, how have you been going lately?.
As long as you take the courageous step of asking and listening, you will be doing the right thing. Go you!!