Canberra Day Twenty Eight

[Saturday, 8th October 2016; 10pm]

Another lovely day. Any day now that has sunshine and warm temperatures is a good day. The number of rainy or cold days has outnumbered the sunny lovely days so I’m not wasting any opportunity to get out when I get a good one, just with sunscreen on this time!

It was going to be good day anyway cos hubby’s brother arrived last night from Melbourne for the weekend. He’s only one week back in the country from England where he taught in a select entry girls school for the 9 month teaching year, and then most recently from 3 months backpacking around Europe. SO much to catch up on! And he’s a green thumb so that suits my interests!

First of all brother in law and I hit the National Arboretum because it was their open day. We got the usual talk at the discovery centre, checked out the fascinating bonsai exhibition and then went for the drive through the lower section that was just open today; usually closed to visitors so you’d have to walk all the way through, which is a long way! The whole arboretum is 300 hectares!! Lots of walking, and lots of it steep. A very interesting place, I think there’s plenty of scope to go again, putting in mildly! And the views! Well you can see for yourself. Lastly we checked out the cork trees which are an amazement on their own. It was intriguing to hear how the Burley Griffins planned for all of this a long time before it came to be.

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Cork trees brought to Australia by Burley Griffin in 1912, showing evidence of harvesting which can only be done every 10 years, and may take up to 3 crops to get the best quality!

Home for a yummy lunch of nachos, we are being very spoilt here! Then an afternoon trip with EVERYONE to Floriade! Finally got hubby there after the disappointment of their night festival being cancelled for wind and rain. And our hosts came, and brother in law. Always beautiful, but especially in the sunshine and with good company. It was awesome to see that the tiny Purple Swamphen chicks are growing up, feeding themselves and much bigger than the first time I saw them a couple of weeks ago. I’m glad that the crowds haven’t phased them or their parents; it can be very disruptive having people near their nest or young…but these are all just going about their business. It was incredible to see the change in all of the garden beds as older plants have gone and new plants have come up. It really has to be seen to get the full impact.

Another amazing fact is that I took my meds on time last night, and lo and behold I woke up on time! 7am! Other than hubby who was already out riding, I was the first one downstairs this morning! Some kind of record. By 5.30pm when we got home from Floriade though I was feeling pretty feeble! So nap time, then dinner, now bed!

But my camera is upstairs with my sleeping husband so I’ll post this tomorrow when I can get at the photos.

Canberra Day 4

14th September, 2016

Today was another sort of not much day, but last night was also late at the baby shower of all things, so that wasn’t the best preparation for the day. Not that I regret going one little bit, it was a fun feel good night with lots of laughs and lovely people.

The same pattern prevailed today: get up early and go to hubby’s work, drive on, this time around part of the western loop of Lake Burley Griffin that I rode yesterday and take photos, home for a late breakfast. The lake makes such a brilliant subject, and I also got some lovely shots of King Parrots feeding in the grass. These are usually very timid birds but living next to the bike path seems to have accustomed them to people coming and going and I was able to get within a few metres which was fabulous!

Then some work on my website, yesterday’s blog, leftovers for lunch and a couple of hours napping to round out the day! Really not much of note. It rained today from lunch on and off so it was kind of a rest day. There are meant to be showers for the rest of the week but I’m hoping to get some things done between showers. If not, there are plenty of indoorsy things to do so I want to keep the ball rolling before I get stuck on the couch again.

My photo of the day, surprisingly, isn’t the awesome close ups of king parrots, welcome swallows and my first decent photos of yellow rumped thornbills. The photo of the day has to be the lake, beautiful and serene. I think it’ll become a favourite!

And we’re done! See, I promised they’d get shorter ๐Ÿ™‚

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For more photos from today check out my website: Morning Lake Burley Griffin Drive

Canberra Day Two

12th September, 2016

Whatever else happened today, the photo of the day HAD to be of the weather! A fresh morning of 7 degrees with blue skies and gorgeous sunshine. The temperature climbing gradually to 17 degrees! Ahhh! I just loved being outside today, warm air stroking the skin then a cooler breeze then the cool and warm air mixing but never joining. If you were warm you could move to the shade and the breeze would be enough to soothe you; if you were cool you could step into the sunshine and be warmed up – my perfect kind of day!

The day started with tagging along to hubby’s work at 8.30am so that I could take the car for the day. I pulled out into traffic from his office and saw a sign for the information centre so I headed there for yes, more brochures. I do love brochures! I’m going to be the most cultured and knowledgeable Canberran there is! The info centre is on the banks of Lake Burley Griffin which was looking stunning in the sunlight. I heard the sound of a creaking door as I left the centre which can only be from a Gang Gang Cockatoo, so I tracked it to a pine tree and got a photo right there at the info centre! Definitely a highlight – we don’t often get them close around Melbourne. I could see where they’re setting up the flower festival right thereย as well, gorgeous beds of tulips! I’m looking forward to checking that out once its open.

I should mention that I was trying to find my way around without using a map or GPS. I do that; I don’t know why. It’s silly, you can’t intuitively find your way. I did okay for some of it but there may have been a couple of laps around the city having missed my turn! Ultimately I resorted to GPS!

I do love the days when I get up early. I feel so much more productive, and even if I spend a couple of hours on one thing, I turn round and still have hours to go. So at 11am, the day was still wide open. I wanted to get my bird watching off to a start so I headed to Black Mountain which is where the Telstra Tower is and went on a 2 hour walking loop. The signs being not all they should be, that turned into a 3.5 hour hike steeply up and down the mountain! I was pretty exhausted by the end, not to mention blisters on my heels and arches and chafed thighs. It’s amazing to me that I wouldn’t have considered that the path would be steep, the name of the place being Black Mountain. Another of my classic disconnects.

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So here’s my photo for Day Two. A perfect combination of the day: blue skies, sunshine, beautiful bush and birds, a stunning Crimson Rosella.

I’ve decided to put whatever photos don’t make the cut for photo of the day onto a new website that I’ve just been setting up these last couple of weeks. Bear with me while I do so, it’s very much a work in progress but you can see my other photos from today (and yesterday, forgot to say so) at my site. Click on Black Mountain Views or Black Mountain Birds to check out today’s photos.

Choices

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So here I am. Bright, beautiful autumn day, not quite 10am in the morning and I’m in the gorgeous Fitzroy Gardens wandering my way back to the city. What a fabulous way to pass the day!! And that’s right, not quite 10am and I’ve gotten out of bed, dressed, had breakfast, walked to the station, caught a train then a tram to an appointment and now I’m out the other side, carefree and almost dancing my way along. It’s a sweet happy day.

In my mind is always the question, is it a too happy day? Am I tipping the scale into the slightly manic?

Today, the answer is: I don’t really mind, I’m happy, it’s a good day and I’m out lapping it up ๐Ÿ™‚

Why up so early? Two answers.

1) I’ve changed over antidepressants, again! I’m up to number 7 now, all within 12 months! 5 of them in the last 6 months! It’s been hectic up in my brain!! But to tell the truth, number 7 is actually a repeat of number 2 which I really liked and had to stop because of side effects. So I’m “cautiously optimistic” as my doctor would say, but keeping in mind that I may have to stop this one again. Which would be very disappointing cos so far I’m loving me with this drug in my system! It’s been all of 4 days but it’s made the most amazing difference! I now wake up at 5.30 – 6am like I used to when I was first starting antidepressants again in December.

Which is an incredible change from dragging myself out of a stupor at 9.30am to try to start the day, cutting out all non-essentials sometimes including showering and doing my hair. Now I’m up and ready to start the day with the normal people ๐Ÿ™‚ And I still get a pretty solid sleep thanks to my mood stabilisers, although it is a bit more fragmented. But I’ll take that over being doped out!

2) I have a 9am sharp appointment with a private psychiatrist. So far I’ve only seen one psychiatrist, not sure if he was a fully fledged psychiatrist or one in training but I really like him either way. He was friendly, professional, asked questions no-one had asked before and got really quite a lot of information out of me.That was way back now, in early March, two days after I was sent to emergency suicidal and utterly despairing. That day that I saw the last psychiatrist was the day when I realised that the question mark over me having bipolar disorder did actually make a lot of sense. Because from acutely suicidal on Monday night, to that Wednesday midday was the biggest change you could possibly see in a person! By Wednesday morning I was happy, active, energetic, motivated, full of life and ready to go gangbusters!! It really was that dramatic and gave a lot of credence to that theory.

This visit is not at all acute, it’s really like an all over review of my treatment to date and making a plan into the future with the expertise of the specialist. I’m very happy and confident in my GP but a second opinion and eye on the situation never hurts. So yes, 9am sharp! Which a week ago would have been physically impossible but today it’s all good! Yay for that!

So, choices. I loved coming to this point in the path and having the options. Where to go?

I have been given choices in my treatment. Choices about where to next, about what’s tolerable and what’s not, about what’s important to me.

Given the choice between flat, unmotivated and doped out or somewhat anxious and a bit zingy I chose pumped up. So I know I have to take the lesser quality sleep, shaking hands and faint but persistent feeling of something not quite right. It’s been a while, I must say I’d forgotten just what it was like to have my heart on full alert all day. That vague feeling of anxiety about anything and everything, but at least I’m functioning and out enjoying the day instead of thinking about dragging myself out of my slumber.

I chose anxious over depressed. Because I can handle anxiety. I’ve been seeing a psychologist for months now so I have the strategies, the coping techniques, the knowledge of triggers and stressors. So although it’s not what I’d chose given a choice between anxious and not anxious, it’s what I chose over depression.

Depression I can’t handle. I don’t like it, I don’t like me in it, I can’t manage it away. Strategies seem so unachievable, thinking differently is just too hard, mind over matter just isn’t a thing! The awfulness, the horridness, the terrible feelings are just unconquerable. All I want is to run away, escape, go into a time warp. That last one is my favourite. It doesn’t involve self harm or permanent damage or death or anything undoable; it’s just somewhere I can go for as long as it takes until the pain has gone away. So if there’s any option other than having to suffer through depression I take it!

In this case it’s anxiety. You’re back, old nemesis. But this time I’m running the show, I hold the reins, I control the degree and depth and frequency, as much as I can. I have my strategies, my re-thinking, my knowledge, my support, so much on my side.

It’s going to take some getting used to, it doesn’t sit well. I have to be aware of it, and not let it get started so that it can’t get out of control. At the same time it’s important not to get anxious about getting anxious. So back to all that. But the upside: not depressed, touch wood!!