Windy wind wind

It’s a windy day. I don’t like wind! WelI, actually what I mean is I don’t like to be in the wind.

Watching it out of my bedroom window while tucked up in bed, on the other hand, it rather nice; I like watching the gum leaves toss and the white branches wave.

But going outside on a day like this isn’t my favourite thing. I avoid it if I can!

It catches my breath out of my mouth and makes me feel like I’m suffocating!

It blows my hair here and there and everywhere and ruins however much effort I have put into my hairstyle that day. There really is no amount of hairspray that can truly hold down hair on a day like today.

Even the birds get their feathers all ruffled on a day like this. And today I saw a rainbow lorikeet get blown off a palm frond into the air! It quickly flapped it’s wings and landed back on the frond again, but how’s that?

palm tree, rainbow lorikeet

Pair of rainbow lorikeets in the nesting tree just after the top bird got thrown off by a gust of wind!

On another topic, I always wonder where birds go on days like this; there don’t seem to be as many birds around. The ones you see are huddled down as low as they can be, or hiding out of the wind.

Another thing that I don’t like about wind is that it catches my skirt and whisks it around at the most inconvenient time! I tend to walk around with at least one hand holding as much of the width of the skirt as possible, just in case. But that’s not a foolproof plan; it can still catch and expose your legs and knickers at the most embarrassing moment!

The one thing I do like about wind is it’s usually cooler than the day that it’s blowing around in. Since I’ve been on antidepressants and an antipsychotic my body temperature runs higher than usual; well I don’t know if that’s a fact but my experience is that I feel warmer all the time. I also sweat at the slightest temperature increase so I do enjoy going out and feeling the cool against my skin.

Plus I love my coat. It’s navy with turquoise fleece lining and thumb holes and two front hand pockets. I love thumb holes! And I love front pockets. And I love that despite gaining 20kg since I bought it, it still zips up at the front 🙂 So it is nice to have an opportunity to wear it.

It’s satisfying when you’re outside on a really cold day to feel cozy inside a warm coat where the wind can’t stab you with it’s icy knife. But although the coat stops the wind getting to your body, it doesn’t stop grit and leaves and debris flying around in the air and getting in your eyes, nose, mouth and even getting down your neck into your coat!! Shame about that! Time for a scarf wrapped around my head with only eye slits left uncovered. But that old wind is a crafty one; it will find that one gap you’ve left and dive straight in!

Windy days often make me feel irritable. I’m not sure why. I mean there’s the hair blowing thing, the skirt puffing up thing and the stealing my breath thing but it’s not that.

It’s more like a feeling of restlessness, of having the jitters, of being unsettled and being out of sorts.

It’s a feeling of having the heeby geebies, of being frazzled, of feeling like my nerves are on edge, of sarcasm and grumpiness being kept under a very thin veil ready to burst out with any adverse event.

Strange how an invisible force can create so much disturbance, such a strong feeling against it and be so disruptive!

In my case it’s not just the wind. It’s also air conditioners, fans, open windows…anything that generates wind or a breeze.

Since I had an eye injury I’ve had drier eyes and any wind or breeze just irritates them like crazy! I find it very annoying to be in a room with any kind of air disturbance; ducted heating or cooling, wind coming in the windows and anything of the kind.

Oddly, I love driving around with the windows down! I think that has more to do with cooling me down than the air thing though. Priorities! They can be changed if need be, turns out.

So I’ll just snuggle in here and watch the wind from afar where I can’t feel it!

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Lost and found

I started thinking one day about the things that I’ve lost since I got sick.

Motivation, drive, energy, work (not literally, I am still employed but not able to work), my figure, identity, etc etc. Easy to get wrapped up in that list!!

I took a walk yesterday and had some fun taking different photos and it hit me like this.

Looking at the things I’ve lost is like focusing down on the nitty gritty details and forgetting the bigger view.

red berries, green leaves, hawthorn

Tiny red berries made larger by zoomed focus

yellow daisies

Imperfections made obvious by close focus, whereas a larger view shows only the pretty colours

flowering succulent

Right up close view of a flowering succulent shows every tiny detail

purple lavendar

Trying to focus on lavendar blowing in the wind, a tricky job

pink and white berries

Pink and white berries brought into near focus

red rose bud

Red red rose bud about to burst, making the rest of the garden fade out of focus

holly, berries, prickly leaves

Zoning in on the prickles of the holly leaves rather than the pretty red berries

yellow, green, red leaves

Zooming in shows the new leaves, the green leaves and the dying leaves

red rose

Sometimes ignoring the bigger picture does give a better view…

pretty white blossom

Beauty in the close-up of this pretty white blossom

It can be enticing sometimes, getting wrapped up in the details, reminiscing, thinking, remembering; the view can be quite nice

But instead of focusing on the negatives and blowing the small things up into bigger things, looking at the bigger picture and seeing what I have gained is a lot more useful.

Time, opportunity, creativeness, hobbies. The bigger picture.

sunset, telephone wires, electric wires, gum tree

Suburban sunset: it may have lines and wires criss-crossing but overall it’s a beautiful picture

It’s something I have to learn, re-learn, remember, re-remember so that I can get the benefit out of it. So I’m writing it down and hopefully when I need it, I’ll remember that I’ve written it and remember where to find it and I’ll read it again!!