Saturday afternoon. Flat day. Nothing much to report. Had a few naps. In between I got a very little bit of nothing done. Ate breakfast, had a nap, ate a snack, had a nap, etc! Anything to escape my head, it’s chasing me round and round and I’m so tired.

My husband and a workmate had plans to play squash in the evening. I was very welcome. I wasn’t planning on going, but my husband talked me into going to watch. Then into putting on sporting type clothes for the first time in who knows how long and going to watch. And taking my squash racquet just in case.

So off we went.

There’s a bit of history to this story.

When I was in high school we played squash for one of our year seven PE classes and I really liked it. Didn’t do anything much about it. A couple of times when we had friends over in the holidays we went to the local courts with Mum and Dad’s old racquets and had a game.

Then I moved to Melbourne for uni. My boyfriend (now husband) and I went and played squash a couple of times, again with old racquets, and really got into it. So I got my own racquet and it become our Monday night regular. For two years we played at the cutesy neighbourhood gym every Monday night. We didn’t sign up for the competition; it was our Monday night date night.

After two years I moved suburbs and we kept up the Monday night fixture for a while then it drifted off. The extra distance just made it that much harder and other things came up, like part time work and flat mates to hang out with.

When we got married and move to the country, there wasn’t a squash court within easy distance. We went to the next town over once or twice but we were out of practice and I just annoyed my husband playing feeble shots.

So it’s been a while, and here we are back at the squash court where we used to be regulars. I chose to be scorer for the first match, again not planning to play at all. But then this amazing thing happened!

I love watching sports! Olympic swimming, running, diving, jumping; bike riding, tennis, soccer, footy. I don’t so much care for listening to sports on the radio, it’s okay but not as good as watching, and I never waste my time reading the scores or keeping up with what’s going on in the newspaper.

Those who have ever seen me watch footy on TV will know that I really get into it! I love barracking!! I get really excited.

And watching sports in person, it turns out, really gets me going! I get into the sportsmanship of it, I get into the competition and the skills of the players and my barracking spirit fires up!

And before I know it, I’m playing!! Enjoying it no end too. And here’s a bonus of putting on 18kg in 6 months; I can play awesome shots!! I can really throw my weight behind my backhand and slice, and really nail the return shot!!

I’m actually a competitor to my husband! That is no end of satisfying to me!! I can make him run around the court chasing my awesome shots! Well I better not get too cocky, he and his workmate can still fire shots that I can’t meet. But it’s a LOOONNNGG time since I ran that much by choice, perspired that much by choice and really enjoyed myself! It is a fabulous feeling to compete and win some points; really satisfying!

This is the first time I have actually proven the point that so many people have tried to make to me; that exercise increases your serotonin. However temporarily.

Unfortunately I get home, cool down, wind down and there I am again; down. Physically, emotionally, mentally. Maybe slightly less so; hard to say. With some good memories, and a little rested from the mess in my mind. True. But still back to square one. Disappointing. Ah well, there’s next week. Looking forward to it!