Canberra Day Twenty Five

Another windy wild day but at least we got some sunshine in patches today; enough to get sunburnt apparently! It was another morning sleep in, then processing my gazillion photos from yesterday which turned out to be brilliantly worthwhile as my lifer bird count zoomed from three to five as hinted yesterday!! Yay!! I hadn’t recognised them “in the field” as birders (bird watchers, or twitchers) say but when I reviewed the photos I found some new and fascinating species. It was a time of reflection looking over the places I walked, the birds I’d seen, the scenery, the animals; all of it beautiful.

But now to get more active. How about Telstra Tower? I headed back up Black Mountain and got as far as admission, side tracking to a free exhibit on the flora and fauna of the nature reserve but when I saw I had to pay I decided to wait and go back with hubby. Besides it was blowing a gale at the bottom; what would it have been like at the top??

So next thing I want to go at Black Mountain is do the woodlands trail. I did the forest loop right at the beginning so this was unfinished business. The problem is you can’t access this walk from the Black Mountain road. You have to go down to the bottom, around the perimeter and somehow find an unspecified parking area and then find an underpass and get onto the trail!! I had tried to figure this all out last time and couldn’t! So try again. On my way I saw the botanic gardens sign (for another day), managed to accidentally make my way onto the Black Mountain peninsula that extends out into the lake (beautiful, and better views of the seagull colony), took the wrong exit south and had to circle back around the city, then saw a tiny car park out of the corner of my eye which turned out to be the one!! I figured even if it wasn’t I’d just walk as far as it took. Cos I can do that now. Even after yesterday. But it was a short walk, a tunnel, another gate (I’m seeing a lot of these lately) and success!! I found the woodlands trail!! Unfortunately it wasn’t my afternoon: phone calls, full memory card then flat battery before I got 1/4 around the path!! Tomorrow.

My brother-in-law green thumb is coming for the weekend which I’m excited about! You know what that means…another trip to Floriade!!

In the meantime, even as a bird lover, my photo of the day is the cat Peanut presenting me shortly after midnight last night with his cleverly caught sparrow, and accompanying branch of a tree!! He was so pleased! Not for the faint-hearted, but he then proceeded to play bat the ball with the bird for a good 10 minutes before it expired, then ate it in 3 bites! I don’t like cats and birds together, but he’s a clever boy for catching it, and I’ll allow it since its an introduced species. Is that vegan eating cheese??

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Canberra Day Six

16th September, 2016

Well friends, another day, another adventure. I felt myself getting a bit tired mentally today but tomorrow is going to be bright and sunny, and I’m getting out and about! Just thinking up ideas, and planning what to do gets me up out of my rainy slow mood into a better gear.

So many options for tomorrow!

The spring flower festival Floriade is opening tomorrow; one look at the website and I’m excited! Not so excited about how far I’m going to have to walk to get there…might take my bike. Then there’s the Raiders game…if you’d listened to a quarter of the radio that I’ve heard this week you’d know this is the biggest thing since sliced bread! Something about NRL, I think that’s rugby, and Canberra’s team that lost last week but still have a chance at the grand final because this week they’re gonna win the final, but they already played the final, but they’re playing the final so get behind it…I’m lost!! Whoever these Panthers are that are fighting them, I hope they understand the gist of it all! Tsk, rugby! Bring back AFL!

Then there’s an NRS (national road series) road race which for the uninitiated is a bike race over 3 days for the best in the country who haven’t made it to international pro level, or who have stepped down from pro level. My husband thinks he’s one of them so we’ll probably go check it out at some point; they’re usually a lot of fun with side carnivals. Might even show him a loop of Lake Burley Griffin now that I know it like the back of my hand haha! Then there’s my birding, a loose plan for lunch with hubby at Piallago and the possibilities are endless!

Today rained then was sorted of fine then drizzled and I wasn’t sure when was the best time to go riding so I ended up not going, which is a shame. I think it would have topped off my day in better fashion than a sleep. But too late for that. Tomorrow is another day. On a recommendation I checked out the Red Hill lookout today, another rainy view! Are you seeing any repetition here? There’s a cool restaurant up there that I wouldn’t mind checking out another day. But tomorrow is going to be sunny! Maybe I’ll do Mount Ainslie, Mount Pleasant and Red Hill lookouts all in one! I’m still glad I went the places I did this week in the rain, but I’m excited to go back in the sunshine. So Red Hill lookout, then a random drive around looking for little strips of local shops where I might buy a present for a friend; finally found one in Yarralumla on my second detour. Sadly because I dropped hubby to work at 8am, the shop wasn’t open but at least I found it so I’ll be back.

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Back home, a bit of blogging and website portfolios, then down the street for a couple of jobs. Lunch, games with the cat who is become a good friend of mine and hubby’s, a nap and deluxe nachos and long chats over dinner! Awesome Friday night. And now even a timely bedtime!! I so need it, and can’t wait for tomorrow to dawn for more adventures! What’s your pick of activities? Comment and let me know.

One of those things

[written sunny Saturday 9th July, 2016; updated 12th July, 2016]

Today I brushed my teeth.

It shouldn’t be a big deal should it, but it is. No one can remember the last time that I brushed my teeth…last year? It’s terrible I know, and doesn’t exactly match my pharmacists’ health promotion ethos, does it? And it’s not something my husband relishes! Or others, possibly; I haven’t heard! But it’s just gotten to be one of those things. You know, those things? Things that you should do, but it’s just a bit too hard. So they’ve slipped down the priority scale, and dropped off the to-do list. I know I have new cavities from being so slack; I can feel them on the lower left side of my mouth when I eat hot food, drink cold drinks, eat something sugary etc. It’s going to need some attention and I’m happy to give it that, but I’ve got an insurance situation to sort out before I can afford it. Soon. Interestingly, or not, I pack my toothbrush every time I go away. I even pack my dental floss, the same dental floss that I’ve had since no one knows when! That’s extreme optimism for you, right there! I don’t know why I think it’s going to be different on holidays, why I think I’ll get it done. I guess it’s something to do with believing I’ll have more time on holidays, that I’ll feel differently on holidays, that everything will fall into place on holidays. But that’s not how it works, is it? What you have at home, your routines, your schedule, your habits, you take on holidays with you. So it just gets put off a little longer, and a little longer. I’ve never been great at this, but I’ve been a heck of a lot better than this, even committing to daily bleaching my teeth for 3 weeks once! It’s probably one of the bigger of those things.

Today I washed my hands.

That, of all things, should NOT be a big deal but washing and drying my hands has become a stand off with myself! It’s like a rebellion against something, I don’t even know what. But you’re supposed to wash your hands, yeah? Well I won’t! Terrible, childish thought process, I know. But it’s there, and it takes a lot of overcoming! Every time I should be washing my hands, this something rises up in me and I just sneak away without doing it. So silly, yet it persists. Obviously because I work in a hospital there are safety limits but a pump of alcohol or chemical based cleaner is a lot easier to me; maybe I should install a couple of home! It’s just one of those things. It’s not that I never wash my hands. If I think an activity warrants it, like dirt from gardening, dusty or greasy hands from my bike, food matter etc then yes they get a good wash; or a good rub down on a hand towel that will disguise it! I’m practically a kid when it comes to this! It’s the little times when my hands aren’t dirty, but its tradition (and probably hygiene!) like before a meal, after a meal, little things. In my mind. Probably not in others minds, but it feels like unnecessary energy that I can’t afford to waste, so I save my efforts for something more essential, as least to my way of thinking. It’s one of those things which seem like why wouldn’t you just do it, but I feel like it will take too much energy. It’s a fight with myself.

Today I walked one kilometer.

Walking, any walking, has become a big deal since I got sick. I never used to think about the things I asked my body to do. I walked as long as I needed, I ran for exercise, I loved swimming for fun, weights were my favourite form of exercise, I’ve done a couple of bootcamps including one at a boxing gym, pilates was my relaxation, and so on. But now, I struggle a lot with it! For various reasons, I suppose: I’m fat and heavy, I’m slow and sluggish, it takes energy and effort and motivation, I’d rather catch ANY other form of transportation, my legs rub together and chafe til they’re red raw unless I wear undershorts or leggings, it drains my mind and my body, and I’ve come to associate it with pain and suffering. I know, a little over dramatic! But there you have it, it’s one of those things! This walk in particular was slow, and it wasn’t for exercise; it was for bird watching and photography. But hey, it was outside in the sun and breeze, and it was a kilometer. I take it however I get it, and don’t sneeze at the little bits of exercise however they come. I’m meant to be exercising more. Well that was more than yesterday, more than the day before, and more in one go than I’d done for the whole week and probably longer so I’m counting it as a win!

Today I rode my bike.

And it reminded me that I do love my bike! I’d forgotten that. I quickly forget the joys, and never-endingly remember the pains; it’s not a good way to be! I keep planning to ride with Wheel Women and sign myself up for rides optimistically hoping I’ll feel like it by the time they comes around. But then I pull out closer to the day as it becomes clearer that not having left the house or changed out of PJs for 2 days, it really isn’t going to be likely that I’ll be up and dressed by 8.30am ready to drive 45 minutes across the city! Or I heave a sigh of relief when a planned ride is cancelled due to rain, path flooding or wild weather. Then I roll over and go back to sleep. Well that’s been the pattern lately while I haven’t been well. Before today I hadn’t ridden or been on my bike even since the 3rd of June! Five weeks out of it! I think I’ve had 5 weeks out of a lot of things, to be honest. It’s been reasonably bleak for me and with me, and that’s when all of these things, those things, fall away because it’s too much effort to keep them going. But flying downhill brought on that high, that endorphin burst and suddenly I was in my zone, loving it! And I flew all the way home, even up the hills, and that was that, I was back, mentally. And when you’re there mentally, you’re there!

Today I climbed hills on my bike.

If you know me and my riding, you know about me and hills; we have a difficult relationship! Frankly, right now, I’m not built for going up hills! My weight is very much against me when trying to defy gravity by going up. Nevertheless, the hills are there and they do come across my path, and at the end of the day I do have to get up them somehow. So when Wheel Women ran a class on climbing, cornering and descending, it sounded like exactly the skill set that I could benefit from! So how did I get to that class when I hadn’t gotten to any other rides? My innate cheapness!! I put down money for this class, little though it be, but it’s a powerful motivator in someone with Scottish blood, however diluted it be! And I did learn some super helpful tips to help me up those hills. And then I flew down them again, but that’s the fun bit, the bit that gives you a rush! The other bit, the climbing is different, but I guess it’s a means to an end if you like. It’s still hard. But I did it today! I conquered one of those things, at least for now.

At the end of the day, what a day?!

Better than I’ve had in quite a while! I’ve been struggling with depression lately and it has sucked, but suddenly on Thursday night when I woke up from my nap, something shifted! I was high, elevated in an energetic and motivated frame of mind. Just like that! If only I could click my fingers and get that result! Who on earth knows what it was that tipped me over, impossible to figure out. But YAY!

So what you’re seeing here is the chemicals in my brain giving me a booster shot to actually manage to do some of those things. I even cooked tea one night this week! Rare event these days! When the chemicals all line up, life is good. It’s easy, way less effort, far less forcing myself around. It just happens and we’re all relieved. And vice versa, you understand. But for now, for however little time I have this little break, it’s nice to use it to do something. It’s not perfect. My ride was still hard! The hills still hurt. My walking was still slow, although that was more for the sake of finding birds, and it wasn’t far, but still. I washed my hands but not all the time. And I brushed my teeth.

What I didn’t do today was shower. It’s probably the hugest of the things. To get into our shower you have to climb into the bathtub. Every time I think of having a shower, I think of having to hoick my leg over the side and it just seems like too much effort! It’s such a small thing, right, but it literally seems like it’s impossible. Once I’m in its great; I love a nice hot shower and feeling clean again, once I’m there. It’s just the getting started, which is after all, the issue with all of these things; getting started. It’s pretty much classic depression: issues with motivation, energy, self care. It is amazing what lengths I’ll go to not to have a shower, and how long I’ll go between showers. And by amazing, I also mean embarrassing! After Bali, I had a mega battle and I almost lost count but I think I went more than two weeks and no shower, and unwashed hair! You may have noticed! I still used deodorant and perfume so hopefully I didn’t stink, but it wasn’t a nice episode and finally my husband had to drag me to the shower and make me get in. And it was delightful! All that fuss and bother and argument, vanished, and I had a lovely time and came out feeling wonderful! It’s one of those things!!

That’s today [read: Saturday 9th July]. Tomorrow we have to wake up and do it again so we won’t get too carried away, but today those things have had a bit less hold over me.

So, the next day: Sunday morning, the hardest morning of the week. Mainly because I ideally would aim be up and going earlier than I may have done for the other 6 days of the week. But today I was up by 9am and actually feeling like I was up and going, not sluggish or doped out. My anticipation of the coming Sunday can mean that I go to bed late, and so not take my tablets til late just before I go to bed, and so I can be a bit sedated by the effect of my tablets lasting well into the morning. I have this contrary thought process that not going to bed will prolong the next day’s arrival…obviously it’s just the opposite. But it’s another reason why waking up Sunday is a complicated thing. Sunday morning is also traditionally when I wash my hair. I should really change that, if common sense prevails. It’s just another thing to get past to get to church: waking up, clearing my head, getting fed and watered and tabletted, showering, dressing and getting out the door not long after ten.

But today was pretty successful. I actually had a shower, and even dug out some moisturizer and did my legs! A miracle of a day! I’m energetic but not irritably manic, the best way to be. Touch wood for more days like these. I’m active, I’m wanting to fill in my day instead of hiding from it; I’m like a normal person!! YAY!